i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
