Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
