He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
