You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
