I need help removing her.
her vagine was all disorganized.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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