Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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