oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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