yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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