I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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