Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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