He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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