dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
