he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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