My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
