if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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