there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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