Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dignity is for republicans.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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