He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Randomize
