we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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