i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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