The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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