I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
