so explain again why im purple
no
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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