So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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