Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Please don't give away my fajitas
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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