you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
