Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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