sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
