This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
