Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
