I think scott just propositioned me for sex
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
