just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
