so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
