a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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