So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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