TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
