My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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