WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
