She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
