I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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