So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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