i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
