hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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