marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
