Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
