sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
