No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
stop calling my apartment porn island.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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