from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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