found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
