I just made out with a guy for $7.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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